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Being Thankful

11/15/2018

10 Comments

 
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(Unless otherwise noted, the Kathryn Tucker Windham blogs are written by her daughter, Dilcy Windham Hilley.)


It must have gotten tiresome.

For all our growing up years, my mother slept on the sofa by the kitchen the night before Thanksgiving.  That way she could get up periodically and “see to the turkey,” basting and such as needed doing.

Sometime around 1990, Mother was taken by a brilliant notion.  Sometime that September at a family get-together, she announced, “For Thanksgiving I have rented a beach house at Fort Morgan for the week.  Anybody who wants to come down for any length of time is welcome to do so.”

My brother and sister and I were surprised.  What?  No more gathering of the family at Mama’s long pine table?  No more setting up card tables for the children and overflow guests who inevitably appeared?  (For years those guests included the two young men sent to Selma by the Mormon Church in an always-bankrupt attempt to convert somebody…anybody.) 

We were puzzled, caught off guard, but we recovered quickly.  After all, it was the beach.  It was a new adventure.  It was still a family assemblage, and that’s what mattered.

That very first year at the beach, everyone adapted quite well.  A roomy house right there on the shores at Ft. Morgan was, after all, something to be really thankful for.  And no turkey on earth could hold a candle to the pot of boiling shrimp---huge tasty Reds---that became our traditional Thanksgiving meal.

In the early years of the new tradition, Mother would drive down from Selma with my sister, Kitti, on Monday to set up the house for other arrivals later in the week.  The rest of us would go down as soon as possible, hording vacation days from work to stretch out the family time at a place that is near perfect in November.  

In 2005, my sister died just weeks before Thanksgiving.  My mother, by then in her 80s, acknowledged her failing eyesight prevented the long drive alone to the beach.  But her indomitable spirit insisted on continuing the tradition.

“Kitti would want us to go.”  That’s all she said.

So, every Thanksgiving until Mother’s death, our “adopted” family member, her next door neighbor, Charlie Lucas, would drive with her down on Monday to set up the house.

My mother, deeply rooted in her Methodist upbringing, would call all in attendance to gather around the Thanksgiving table.  We would hold hands.  Mother would say a short and beautiful blessing and make her annual attempt to have each of us say a word of personal thanks.  It would begin well.

“I’m thankful for each family member and for our friends gathered here today,” I would say.


“I give thanks for recovery from the illnesses this family has suffered,” my sister-in-law would say, her words of thanks precious, for there had been many.


“Thank you, God, for these people who have taken me in to be part of their loving family,” was Charlie’s prayer.


But when it came his turn, my wonderfully irreverent brother would dispel the earnest mood.  “Roll Tide!” he’d say, and we’d all collapse into laugher.  Even after Mother’s death in 2011, we continued the annual trek to the beach with friends and family for the holiday.


This year another Windham has died.  This year at Thanksgiving, we will scatter brother Ben’s ashes in the waters at his beloved Fort Morgan.  He would want us to.

10 Comments
Diane Criss
11/15/2018 09:46:48 pm

Thank you for sharing these beautiful memories. I was a classmate of Ben's and like everyone else from Selma loved your Mom. May this special Thanksgiving be filled with memories of your family's love for one another.

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Dilcy
11/19/2018 02:33:43 pm

Thank you for your sweet comments, Diane. And happy Thanksgiving to you....

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Gordon Welch
11/16/2018 01:29:53 pm

Thank you for the wonderful memory. Hoping you and yours enjoy a thankful time together-being especially thankful for the lives of your Mother, Sister, and Brother.

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Dilcy
11/19/2018 02:34:35 pm

Thank you, Gordon. The memories are good and plentiful....

Reply
Dana Zimbleman
11/16/2018 05:53:08 pm

Dear Ms. Dilcey Windham Hilley:

I loved this story about your family Thanksgiving tradition! I had my own that involved your Mother's books. When I was in elementary school, I would check out 13 Alabama Ghosts, 13 Georgia Ghosts, and as many of the others I could get permission to take home with me over the Thanksgiving holiday. I'd read them at night, just so I'd get good and spooked before bed! I associate those books with the smell of my mother's pecan pie and sweet potato casserole (you know, the kind with tons of pecans in it and mini marshmallows on top.) I need to buy some copies of your Mama's books again and re-live that childhood tradition. I had the pleasure of meeting your mother once at our school when I was in sixth grade. It was a real treat. Your mother was beloved by so many people, especially children. God bless you and your entire family. Happy Thanksgiving.

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Dilcy
11/19/2018 02:36:02 pm

Thank you, Dana. I'm glad it brought back good memories for you. I can almost smell your mother's pecan pie too!

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Yvonne Jones link
11/16/2018 09:20:52 pm

Prayers for you and your family and friends this holiday season. You are remembered fondly and often!
Yvonne Hess Jones

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Dilcy
11/19/2018 02:36:56 pm

Thank you, Yvonne. I have happy memories of you too!

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Jimmy Neil Smith
11/18/2018 09:26:10 pm

A beautiful tribute to Kathryn and your family.

Reply
Dilcy
11/19/2018 02:37:27 pm

Thank you, Jimmy Neil, and a happy Thanksgiving to you....

Reply



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"Some people are important to intellectuals, journalists, or politicians, but Kathryn Tucker Windham is probably the only person I know in Alabama who is important to everybody."      

​–
Wayne Flynt, Professor Emeritus in the Department of History at Auburn University. 
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​Ben Windham & Dilcy Windham Hilley
Email:
dhilley@inbirmingham.com

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